Banky For President

The Running Mate

Leadership is ready for a change. Too often we elect candidates believing they will make the kind of change we need in the world only to be disappointed with the inevitable comprises.

We need leadership that you can count on. Leadership that will be loyal to those they serve. Leadership that can bring people together of all religion, creeds, and races (and pedigrees).

As such it is time to choose a running mate for the upcoming election. There can be no other choice . . . there can BE no other choice than . . .
My dog Ringo.

And ladies . . . he’s single too.

I’ve got good news for you . . . You are dying.

Knowing you are dying, that today could be, may be, will be the last day of your life is the GREATEST tool to living a healthy happy life ever conceived.

When death is imminent, does it matter what people think of you?  The answer is only yes if you happen to care about those people.  The rest?

When death is imminent, will you wish you had more time with family? or friends?

When death is imminent, will you worry about what your crappy boss thinks about your work?  Will you wish you would have made a move sooner in your job?

When death is imminent, will you wish you hadn’t lingered so long in a crappy relationship?  Will you wish you would have done more in your own life? Got that pilot’s license? Climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro? Written a screenplay?

Resident pimp-daddy, Steve Jobs once said, “If today is the day I will die, would I go and do what I am about to do?”  If that answer is “no” it’s obvious you need to make a change.

Make no mistake about it . . . You.Are.Dying.  You will not live forever.

In Zen Buddhism, teachers use kōans to challenge students minds and open their world up to questions and answers not previously thought.  I have one for you:

Imagine a cliff.  And on the edge of that cliff is a tree, with branches pouring over the side.  You are hanging from a branch right over the crevasse by your teeth, with your hands and feet tied behind you.  There is a man underneath the tree asking a simple question,

“What is 2 + 2?”

If you do not answer, the man below is prepared to kill you in a most horrible way.  However if you do answer, you will surely plummet to your death.

How do you stay alive?

And the good Mr. Onassis comes through.  Thanks sir. . .  for letting me know I’m such a whiny bitch.  You know, if there is a god, he’s gonna rick roll your ass straight to hell.

Being single is a slice of heaven.   I enjoy the freedom being single offers me.  I enjoy traveling, meeting new people, focusing on things that help me improve.  But that goes part and parcel with the fact I have never “coupled” very well.  And that might play a bigger role in why I enjoy single-hood.  While I can commit to a woman like my dog is committed to chewing on my socks, its seems that literally . . . for every beginning, there is an end.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy my relationships have ended and even happier that at least one ex has remained in my life as a dear close friend.  I’m well aware of my shortcomings . . . I’m fairly tactless, extremely disorganized and play 4-6 suited much too often from early position . . . and am actively working on working on at least 2 of those things.

But the biggest thing I miss about being coupled?  Being taken care of when I’m sick.  You know, not having to worry about getting out of bed to run errands or to cook.  Someone to tell me its gonna be fine and to remind me that laying in bed is exactly what I need to do.

And, now, while I’m sniffling and talking with a crappy voice, I’m also reminded that perhaps if I inspired the women of my past more, and had been more of the man then, that I am now, I might actually have the best of both worlds . . . a dynamic incredible relationship to nurture so that it could, in turn, nurture me when I need it the most.

timmy & rally glitter

Originally uploaded by bankythehack3000

Some may say that the Royals victory over the Boston Red Sox on August 4th was caused by a few factors.

1. Heart — The team played courageously and fought to the bitter end.
2. Execution — The win was secured by the Royals clutch play and that preparation finally met opportunity
3. Luck — The Royals simply got lucky.

Those of us in Section 128, Row S know better. With the Royals leading by one run in the top of the ninth inning, the Red Sox had the bases loaded with Sean Casey at the plate. Drastic action needed to be taken to provide necessary mojo to the cosmos so that the Royals would come out on top. Right before the last out of that fateful inning, my friend and YOUR hero, Kansas City, borrowed some lovely glitter from the high school girls in the next row, applied it, and the rest is history.

Don’t mock the disdainful look in our hero’s face ladies and gentlemen. That is the look of a hero who needs no accolades. He simply did what men do, take matters into their own hands and will his team to victory.

With Rally Glitter.

Beaver Lake Arkansas

When I was 5 years old I almost drowned in water I could stand up in. I learned how to swim because of that. But I’ve always been afraid of the water.

As my life has become a series of challenges I need to meet head on before I die, conquering the deep is an obvious step.

A gorgeous hunk of a man by the name of Greg Shives, became a certified scuba diver oh so many years ago. He would talk about his adventures and I would listen to him droll on about excitement under the sea and just how cool an aquifer really is. This past June he talked about needing students for a class he was going to teach on Open Water Diving.

I jumped at the chance.

This was an opportunity for me to face this fear head on and to have a little fun doing it. After all, if a bowl of ice cream is life and fun is the hot fudge syrup you pour over it, time spent with Greg is a banana split topped with a mask, fins and snorkel instead of a cherry.

Greg is a wonderful reminder that if you are enormously passionate about something, you’re also incredibly successful at it too. I felt incredibly safe because that cool cat was always around.

Meeting this challenge is not without some struggles. One exercise is to go down about 10 feet and pull your mask off, put your mask back on and blow all the water out the mask using your nose. This is fear personified for me. If I hadn’t technically done it once in the course of the weekend I wouldn’t be certified.

But this process for me wasn’t about becoming a certfed scuba diver, it’s all about conquering a fear. And if we’re honest, we all have work to do. The real certification is the life you’re able to lead because of the challenges you’ve been able to meet.

In our effort to seek truth, we have to put our thoughts and ideas into action.  It’s not enough to just believe something and not incorporate it, is it?  Spirituality is about walking a path . . . YOUR path.

In the book, The Secret, it is argued that the secret to happiness is (and I’m paraphrasing) positive thinking.  Having a dynamite attitude but with no way to express it is akin to having your car filled with rocket fuel.  You CAN run like a bat out of hell but not with the vehicle you currently own.  You have to realize you’re a rocket ready to blast off.  If you continue to think like you’re a Pinto and constrained by those limits, that positive fuel will just sit there and that car can’t really go anywhere.   And you end up  . . . frustrated.  You’re burdened with knowledge but have no way to put it into practice.

Case in point:

I recently had a discussion with someone who was lamenting her recent (and not so recent) bad luck with men. She wanted advice on how she could improve herself as seekers are want to do. She wrote:

“What was your honest, straight-up impression of me after spending time with me? Tell the truth and I promise I won’t get my feelings hurt. Even tell me the “not so positive” stuff. If my feelings get hurt, they’ll mend. Some have said that I tend to come off a little “uppity”. Did you feel that? As far as my looks go….did you think I was too heavy? Tell the truth. I’ll do the same for you if you want.”

I wrote back the following:

 ”Ok.

You have 3 missions to do first.

1. All day tomorrow you need to walk around like you are a 10. I mean a perfect 10. This world has been your dream and it is now your reality. You add value to the world by your very existence. If the world is a contest, you are the prize.

2. When you walk down the street, compliment three people on what they are wearing or on something about them. It could be a waiter/waitress or a complete stranger. It should be no one you know previously. Don’t wait for any acknowledgement. Just ninja compliment and walk the fuck on.

3. Call someone in your family and just ask how they are doing.

Just like the lil green jedi says, “Do or do not. There is no try.” Email me back sunday night and:

1. Give me impressions on what it felt like to be the perfect 10.

2. What were the three compliments.

3. How was the family member?

You can’t email me back until you do these three things. If you try I’ll just ignore it. You think I’m kidding? Try me.

Hugs,

V.”

I didn’t hear from her until a week and a half later and this was her response:

 ”O.K. Mister.

Mission accomplished. Finally. It wasn’t easy walking around feeling like at “10″ so it took several attempts. Yesterday, I finally felt it. I got dressed up, walked around the Plaza and had lunch alone at an outside cafe. I loved the entire day. I had a variety of emotions…including gratitude for just being alive. I felt like I was good enough for anyone and could accomplish anything I wanted. I complimented more than 3 people. I complimented the waitress for being so attentive, I complimented a lady I passed on the street about her beautiful long hair, the clerk at the bookstore for having a nice smile, a man about his shirt, the receptionist at my heating and air conditioning place, a friend of mine for being such a wonderful cook (she sent her husband over with a loaf of freshly baked bread) and several other people. “

So here’s the challenge. Go be a 10 and post your experiences here.  Remember:

1. All day tomorrow you need to walk around like you are a 10. I mean a perfect 10. This world has been your dream and it is now your reality. You add value to the world by your very existence. If the world is a contest, you are the prize.

2. When you walk down the street, compliment three people on what they are wearing or on something about them. It could be a waiter/waitress or a complete stranger. It should be no one you know previously. Don’t wait for any acknowledgement. Just ninja compliment and walk the fuck on.

3. Call someone in your family and just ask how they are doing.

Now go be a “10!”

Thanks to our on the spot reporter, @duckman1221 (think Christiane Amanpour but only hawter), he was up at the buttcrack of dawn and at the Apple Store in Kansas City, getting reaction from all the beautiful people, including @NewMonarch.

Remember to check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Chateau Domaine Vedrines Sauternes 2005

Originally uploaded by bankythehack3000

Gary Vaynerchuk’s 101 Wines is a great book if you

1. Know a lot about wine.
2. Know nothing about wine.
3. All wine connoisseurs in between

My pal, Zena, wrote a great review here. I’m all excited because #1 on the list came the other day, the Chateau Domaine Vedrines Sauternes 2005.

Make sure you ask before you touch me the next time we hang out.

1. Open Source Spirituality : yes me!  Go read.  Lots of great comments so far.
2. Banky and Paulie : separated at birth?